God as your Portion - what you are asking for
The way to enjoy the desert season is to align with God’s purpose for leading you into a desert time. The first purpose is so that you would know God as your Portion. It is a lot easier to crystallize some of the things that we lay down (what we are not asking for) when we seek God as our Portion, but what exactly are we asking for? Are we asking for an experience? An encounter? A revelation? To see his face? To see his glory? To know him? I believe that all of these desires are a part of seeking God as your Portion, but they cannot in themselves or even together capture the true meaning. It is nearly impossible to grasp this concept of God as our Portion without understanding that we are God’s Portion first. “For the Lord's portion is his people, Jacob his allotted inheritance” (Deuteronomy 32:9).
What does it mean to desire God as your Portion?
In the same way, God’s desire and passion for us cannot be summed up by mere words of wanting to know us, spend time with us, or encounter us. Desiring God Himself is so much more than these things because we are seeking a Person not a concept or a stage of enlightenment. It is about seeking the Giver and not the gifts. Imagine a woman who has been wooed by a secret admirer for years, and just says, I’m in love with this man, I have to have him. I want to be his, and I want him to be mine.
My wife touched upon this amazing concept early on in our dating relationship and throughout our marriage. She once painted this beautiful picture of how she wanted to relate to me. She talked about how the gift of me is really all she ever wanted. Not any gift that I could ever give her, and not pieces of me, but just me. It touched my heart to see that she desired me in the sense of the word portion. When I would ask her if she wanted anything for Christmas or for our Anniversary, she would respond by saying, “I just want the gift of you.” It is the type of love that a married couple can have for one another when it is done right. It is the type of love that is beyond experiences and gifts and words.
In my own relationship with my wife, I have caught her vision and desire for us to simply give each other the gift of ourselves. My one and constant desire is that I would belong to my wife, and she to me, that we would belong to each other for the rest of our lives. We are God’s Portion. He wants the gift of our hearts, and wants to give us the gift of Himself – God Himself, we say. I contrast this to anything, or guidance or blessing he could give to us.
Having God as your Portion is a heart that says, “I am my beloved’s and he is mine.” God, I want to belong to you, and I want you to belong to me. I want us to belong to each other. To say that God is my portion means that in whatever sphere of life, whether it be ministry, relationships or work, means that He alone is our pursuit and desire. To desire God Himself is a desire to encounter him, to be in His presence, to have intimacy with Him, and to hold on to Him forever.
Desiring God as your Portion means:
To desire an encounter
To desire to be in his presence
To desire to have intimacy
Observation - Have you ever thought of God as your Portion before?
Understanding - How has that impacted your life either way?
Application - Spend some time listening for God’s voice, ask for one thing you can do today, and do it.