I first heard these words 20 years ago during my first psychiatric hospitalization in 2005. It was a scary place to be because I didn’t know what was going on. I had been extra spiritual in the previous months but somehow that led me here. I met a young man named Stephen who had been around the block a few times. He understood what it was like to be diagnosed and managing a serious mental illness. I did not. I asked him, “what are your goals in life?” He responded with two words, “Forward Motion.” I didn’t ask what he meant by that or for him to elaborate. There was an unspoken understanding.

Wherever we were in our respective journeys, we had one thing in common: we couldn’t stay where we were. The goal was not a destination, but it was a process. It wasn’t about where we were going to end up or even knowing exactly what steps it would take to get there. It was about persevering through the hardest and MOST challenging times of life.

Many people think that life is like a path where you can walk a while and stop without moving backwards. We can run, jump, and sit down at a park bench without any consequences. These illustrations exhibit a “destination mentality” where we are working toward some goal. I believe that life is a like a moving escalator where we are walking against the flow of stairs. To stop climbing means to move backwards. This is because life is not a destination but a journey – it’s a process. To remain stagnant is to let life push you around.

 Destination Mentality

A destination mentality is a mindset that focuses on achieving a specific goal or endpoint at the expense of the journey itself. Individuals are concerned with reaching their desired outcome, whether it be fitness, career success, relationships, or financial stability. While this focus can drive determination and perseverance, it can also lead to overlooking the value of experiences, learning opportunities, and personal growth that can occur along the way. This may result in a narrow perspective, where the is merely a means to an end, rather than an integral part of the overall experience.

 There is nothing wrong with being focused on goals and success. The challenge is when it comes at the expense of enjoying the journey.

Journey Mentality

A journey mentality emphasizes the importance of the process and experiences encountered along the way to achieving a goal. Individuals with this mindset appreciate each step of their journey, valuing the lessons learned, personal growth, and the relationships formed during their pursuit. It fosters a sense of fulfillment and mindfulness, as it encourages an awareness of the present moment rather than being fixated on a distant outcome. A journey mentality can lead to greater resilience, adaptability, and satisfaction, as it embraces the idea that the path itself, with its challenges and triumphs, is as significant as reaching the destination.
We strive, reach, and climb toward a goal, but it is not in reaching that goal that we find fulfillment. It is the pursuit of forward motion that drives us.

From the Hospital and Beyond

In the hospital, I believed that getting out was the goal when my focus could have been figuring out why I was there. I could have been listening to doctors and learning about my diagnosis and what that meant. In the months afterward, I believed that getting off my medications was the goal because it was the sign that I was no longer sick, never had been sick, and that I was misdiagnosed. I considered, “I was just having a spiritual experience.” Fortunately for me, God had other plans. I was on a journey whether I liked it or not. I was on a moving escalator. When I stopped on forward motion, I would be pushed to the bottom with scraps on the knees to show for it.

After I got better, I returned to work. From there, I went to graduate school, earned my degree, and worked at a prestigious Wall Street company for 12 years. Life was not without many trials and setback along the way, but I consistently had forward motion. For example, the first time after I got out of the hospital, I shook and trembled the first time I had to give a presentation in front of my classmates. I could just imagine my team’s thoughts as we rehearsed. “Hadn’t I spoken in front of 300 people at a youth camp a few years prior,” I wondered. Although my confidence had been stripped away, I practiced and practiced. Even to the point of setting up my stuff animals as a mock audience to get comfortable having eyes on me. My speaking skills were still mediocre but in the process of improving was where I found my greatest strength – perseverance and resilience.