After enduring a few years of this desert season, I wonder if I could believe again. How will I find my way after feeling so lost? Then, I come across a journal entry – a letter actually – that I wrote to myself for encouragement. It reminds me of the faith I once had and am humbled.

The poem, “Footprints in the Sand” is probably one of the most well-known inspirational poems in circulation.  It is known by Christians and non-Christians; you see it on posters, mugs, and greeting cards.  What has made this poem so popular is not marketing or commercials.  In its most widely circulated form only the words Author Anonymous take credit for the poem.  No, this poem is well known because of its simple and powerful message:

I need sustaining grace because I am not self-sufficient. No one is self-sufficient. I cannot find a similar or corroborating interpretation to Luke 4 by any scholar, pastor, blogger or bliblical commentary anywhere in print or on the internet. Jesus quotes the saying, ‘Physician, heal thyself!’ I think I have an original thought. What do you think?

This is a special edition post. Before we move forward, I want to take a break and take a deep breath with you. So whatever you’re doing right now, after you come to the end of this sentence, take two long breaths in and out.

How does God deal with us during the desert season? He loves us, but what does that love look like and can it really be a deeper kind of love? Another day passes in my desert season, and there’s no relief sight. I search for my friend Ulaama’s gift to me, a bookmark with the bible verse Isaiah 58:11 written in Mongolian:

It’s in the most pain-filled moments I realize that God is my Portion. When that one thing I’ve been putting my hope in for happiness - my life and my salvation - dies, I see. And as I give it up to the Lord, I understand what is not my Portion and Who is.

The seeds of seeking God as my Portion continue in high school. I lay down my next only if at the Lord’s feet as I give up success, and something, or rather Someone, as my portion again.

Seeking God as my Portion continues to grow through the most excruciating and painful experiences in my life. I’m sick to my stomach after having drunk some well water from a small Ethiopian village. I know what you’re thinking, why in the world would I drink unfiltered water from a well in a small Ethiopian village?

The way to enjoy the desert season is to align with God’s purpose for leading you into a desert time. The first purpose is so that you would know God as your Portion. It is a lot easier to crystallize some of the things that we lay down (what we are not asking for) when we seek God as our Portion, but what exactly are we asking for? Are we asking for an experience?  An encounter? A revelation? To see his face? To see his glory? To know him?

When God Himself is our Portion, it means we are seeking to know Him, not just know more about Him. We are seeking an encounter and many encounters with God that will transform our perspectives and change our lives.

We are asking to be God chasers, to be placed in the position where we are to seek Him out. We are asking to be active pursuers in this relationship looking for Him in the places he normally resides, looking at his tracks, hoping for a true encounter.

One word picture for the intimacy we are asking for with Him is to seek His face. We contrast seeking God’s face to seeking the works of His hands, which paints a picture of longing for intimacy with God for its own sake, rather than seeking God for what he can do for us.

I’ll never forget the first time someone spoke to me about character growth. I was home from a short-term mission trip to Ethiopia I took right after my freshman year of college. I planned on using the remaining time in the summer to help out the youth group of my church. The youth pastor and I had finished talking about what my role would be that summer, and then he said, “you know what this time in your life is about, J. Thomas? It’s about growing in character.” I simply nodded in agreement, not knowing what he meant or how to respond. Then after a few moments of thoughtful consideration, I built up the courage to ask him, “Pastor, do you see anything specific in my character that needs to be worked on?”

Passion for heart-character growth comes from that burning desire for God Himself, and from knowing what His primary purpose for building heart-character is: to give us more of Himself. Often in the church we use others terms for character growth like “growing in Christ-likeness” and “sanctification.”

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The concept of character and character growth is one of the least understood ideas in effective Christian living. It is the least understood because it has incredible depth.

I believe there is no other story in the Bible that conveys a persevering spirit during a desert season better than the one recorded in Matthew 15:21-28. A Gentile woman came to Jesus begging him to help her. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out.

In the gap of that silence, there comes a message, not from God but from the world. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”

Passion for the glory of God is similar to our growth in heart character. It is not something that we do or obtain, but something that God develops in us. Paul writes that suffering, produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope – hope in the glory of God. When we set our hope on the glory of God, it is like setting our eyes on a fixed point on the horizon, allowing us to walk in a straight path through the desert seasons.

Throughout my high school years serving my church youth group, I was like person who had no vision. I faithfully served God and my friends, but there was no big picture perspective and no understanding about what my service was all about. I served because I loved God and my church, and also because it was the right thing to do. I lived as a Christian unrestrained and undisciplined as a result of having no vision.

In Matthew’s account of Jesus’ temptation in the desert, Jesus has an extraordinary moment of blessing and favor.

During the first year I started working, I realize that I am becoming obsessed with managing my personal finances. I want to track every dollar, and look at my investments everyday, searching for ways to plan my retirement and make my millions. The temptation that the devil presents to Jesus in the desert is much the same that we all encounter along the way.

There are many areas in my life that the enemy attempts to impede my growth, but there is a common tactic to all of his schemes.

One night after many long nights of feeling discontent with my spiritual walk with God, I couldn’t fall asleep, or rather I didn’t want to sleep until I figure out what is bothering me. I reached a limit with myself; I crossed some imaginary line that I set with myself – a line that defines what level of maturity and behavior I should accept in myself – and that troubles me.

The starting place for my walking by the Spirit is apprehending the reality of the Spirit walking alongside me. There is no formula for growing this belief that God is present throughout my entire life even though I do not recognize it. It’s a gift, just like any other revelation of God’s nature that has the power to soften my heart toward Him. How does the Holy Spirit communicate this to me?